It was not the prefect weekend I could have. Saturday was cold and rainy. I was worrying on many things.
I worried about one of our applications. It was fine but just has a long distance to the ideal shape I was expecting; I could use my boss’s word: “You are just too picky.” I could also use the word Sean Connelly said to Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones III: “Indiana, let it go!” I worried about two important meetings in the next week; one of them, I will address to my section on all the changes to be implemented for year 2010. Along with my plan, we will have a monthly newsletter for cross area communication, we will have a monthly coffee roundtable for section wide update, we will have a backup chain for key knowledge points (I am still developing it while I am writing this), a roadmap for new technology adoption and we will have some resource change for key projects for 2010; will they accept my move? I also worried about a trip I planned in January, and what I should accomplish from it. I also worried about my friends and ex-coworkers in Las Vegas, who lost their jobs lately. I also worried about my rental property; a few hours ago, my property manager just notified me that the tenants are moving out…
In this earthly world, everything is pulling my heart. Conflicts at work, financial stress, relationship dilemma and personal expectations are like waves of the roaring sea and they never rescind. I repeated this to myself: how could I not worry?
However, after reading God’s words, my heart starts settling down. Nothing needs to be worried if you heart is filled with heavenly lights. I was given a place to live, warm and cozy; I was given a job to excel, hard but rewarding; I was given peaceful time at home and sounded applause at work; and aren’t these enough to be happy?
I love what I am given right now. It is not fortune, it is not fame, it is not an appealing outside look, neither is it even a complete family. However, I believe that God has His plan. What I am given is a path to the truth and perfectness. It is challenges and endurance, it is admiration and respect, it is a pure and kindness heart, and it is the hope and faith for the good days yet to come. My life is poor in the body but rich in the soul.
At the end, I love what I am given, because what I am given is love.
December 13, 2009 at Austin